fly mama

Thursday, March 09, 2006

The BIG question..........

Does size matter? Gasp! No, I’m not talking about that......I am talking about body size. I phoned the lab to get my blood results. Placed on hold, there I sat through Barry Manilow, Stevie Wonder........(come on come on.......I’m tapping my fingers)....some other horrible singer starts chiming in when...PHEW! I’m rescued. Okay...okay, tell me the news. How bad is it...I’m cringing.....she’s telling me the numbers and I keep hearing her say..."and that’s is that".......SO! What’s my problem? My cholesterol! Size DOES NOT matter! I am almost 5'7"- and 98 pounds, which is why my doctor ordered the $200+ worth of bloodwork....I am losing weight. I’m not a mouse, I don’t eat cheese 24-7. I happen to be a vegetarian that cooks in olive oil only (extra virgin). The numbers left her horrified......high 240's! I all of the sudden felt like the hottie Sean Connery-esque guy on the cholesterol commercial. Hubba hubba......women sitting by the pool, eyeing him, almost drooling.....he strips out of his shirt and dives into the pool.....BELLYFLOP! Looks can be deceiving, they flash a high cholesterol number on the screen. I am now this guy! Only....I’m not hunky.....nor do I look like Sean Connery (although at his ripe ‘ol age he still makes me drool). "Change your diet"-the lab tech says, "exercise.....chasing the kids around doesn’t keep your heart pounding for more then 30 minutes"-she doesn’t have my two, how would she know? I am flabbergasted! "Eat healthy, exercise more.....your heart can’t keep this up", she tells me, " Something has to give, a person your size should not have this problem". Clearly she hasn’t seen the cholesterol commercial where they state..."She has dad’s eyes, mom’s turned up nose.....and Uncle Fred’s high cholesterol!" I am now a living, breathing cholesterol commercial. I admit readily that it runs in my family-but so does being a neurotic, hypochondriac. My family self diagnosis’ using a medical book and prescription pill dictionary. I do not lie! I and my kids and my high cholesterol.....just the 4 of us, watching cartoons and thinking about taking a walk.....I will tell you that even thinking about taking a walk gets my heart pumping.....nothing like pushing a "sit and stand" stroller that weighs almost as much as the person pushing maybe my cholesterol will be lower, but then what will we do about my hernia?


At 2:42 PM, Blogger LD said...

For all you do, this is what you get, more aggrevation!
Isn't that a kick in the ass.
Looks like meals are going to be better than crusts off an eaten sandwich, remains of the cereal bowl and goldfish that fell on the floor.
Take care.


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